Love

Even though it is an arbitrary date, the ending of this year and coming of the new year on the calendar has gotten me to reflect upon everything that has happened to me. I have learned a little more about Earth’s governments. I was kidnapped, escaped and reunited with some of my brethren I once thought lost. I discovered the virtual world of video games. I expanded on my knowledge and love of human cuisine. I have discovered the tumultuous world of human mating rituals, and most importantly, I have fallen in love.

When I first came to this world, I did not consider what it would be like to befriend its human inhabitants. I especially did not think in my wildest imagination that I would meet someone like April. She has meant more to me than anyone I have ever met in my life. A year ago, I could not even begin to comprehend the concept of human love, and now I find I cannot live without it.

I do not know what this means for this coming year. April is coming over to spend New Year’s Eve, and I am trying a new recipe out, which will hopefully go well with the celebration that everyone is having.

My sister is going to a party with a couple of her school friends. She assured me that Nick will not be there, which I could not be most pleased about. I am less pleased that she did meet a couple boys on our trip to Big Bear, and she has remained in contact with them. They are high school age, and April assures me it is only natural, but I was just getting used to her ending her relationship with Nick. Madison did promise that she would not get into any trouble at her party. At least, I know where she will be.

So, we are about to ring in the new year. May everyone be as fortunate as I have, and hopefully I will not be party to any attempted interplanetary wars this time.

Winter Wonderland

Christmas was brilliant! The trip up to Big Bear was exactly what we needed. Despite it being a bit crowded—I keep forgetting how big this holiday is—we all had a blast. It was just the right amount of relaxation and rejuvenation. Also, I have to admit, seeing the snowy mountaintop for the first time was quite beautiful. I can see why people love the winter holiday so much.

My sister spend most of her time on the ski slopes. Our first morning, Madison and I took lessons. April has been skiing before, so she hit the slopes right away. Then, I met up with April later in the day to ski the mountain together while my sister obsessed over the “very cute” instructor. I almost warned her off this guy, but April assured me it was merely a schoolgirl crush and that I should let it be.

Christmas was quite lovely as well. We had the traditional gift exchange followed by goose for dinner. I have never had goose before, so I must look more into how to cook such a bird.

Most importantly, I think my sister and April finally made up, which means that they both made up with me as well. It is nice not seeing them fight. I actually quite like the three of us getting along as we have. It feels for the first time since my sister and I were stranded here like we have a real family.

Hopefully, when we get back to our day to day lives, it will last.

Not Home For the Holidays

I have had the most brilliant turn of fortune. After a week of insanity dealing with April telling me that I do not appreciate her and that I am the cause of all the stress in her life and my sister telling me that I never listen to her and always cause problems for her, I am getting out of town. More precisely, we are all getting out of town.

Turns out my government friends are not completely useless. For my work “keeping America strong” (I am not sure what it means, but I am not convinced I like it), they have secured me a family getaway for Christmas at the Big Bear Ski Resort.

I had some resistance at first because they only family I could take on this trip would be Madison and April, and neither of them have wanted to spend much time with me lately. However, it seems the reason April has been so stressed lately is because after the “fiasco” that was Thanksgiving, she just could not take another holiday with so many family demands. At the same time, all my sister wanted was to spend some time with me that did not have to do with school or alien immigration or interstellar physics.

Getting out of town was exactly what they both wanted. The best part is, up at Big Bear, if we get sick of each other, there are plenty of things to do on our own. April expressed wanting a day at the spa, and Madison was excited because she has never skied before. In fact, I do not think I have ever rightly seen snow on Earth. I think I will like this Christmas.

About That

So much for things being better. April is still under stress trying to get her grades in. Madison had a “horrid” week completing all of her work and does not feel confident about her exams. Both April and Madison seem to be blaming each other for the amount of pressure they are under. According to April, Madison waited until the last possible minute to hand in her project, and according to Madison, April asked for too much this semester, a project and an exam. Of course, when they are not blaming each other for their problems, they are both blaming me.

To top that all off, my review at the school went extremely well—better than I ever expected, in fact. You might think that is a good thing. However, they want me to stay on in a more permanent role as the physics instructor. Apparently, my knowledge of the field is unparalleled. This is not something I have the time for, considering how much work I seem to be doing for the government. On the other hand, I could use the money, considering how much work I seem to be doing for the government for free and without credit. I will have to think about it. My other concern is April. She says she wants me to take it, but I feel that will put an even bigger strain on our relationship. Also, I am sure my sister will be further mortified by me being a permanent fixture at the school.

Another thing, this Holiday Season is a pretty big deal. Humans do love their traditions, but it makes the economy quite violent. I do not have the energy to think about any of this. I wish there was some way I could just disappear for a week.

Almost There

Only one week left of school, at least for Madison. April still needs to turn in grades, and I have my review that will decide if the school is going to keep me on. I have passed many reviews in my time, but this will be the first I will need to pass on human standards. Human standards are tricky.

Whatever happens, with Madison and April nearly done with their heavy stress-inducing workloads, I should be able to look forward to life being a little calmer at the end of the week.

Grades

I do not seem to be able to get a break. If it is not my sister, it is April.

Madison has been in, to put it mildly, quite the mood lately. I really hoped she would get over that Nick kid much more smoothly. After all, he was not good for her to begin with, then he tried to take advantage of her vulnerabilities. If I did not already promise my sister and the several Earth government that know I exist that I would not vaporize anyone, Nick would be first on the list. But Madison seems to really miss him. She has been quite depressed lately, and she has even let her grades slip, which is not like her at all.

Then, I have April pressuring me for all sorts of reasons. There are Madison’s aforementioned grades. Since April is Madison’s teacher, she has some interest in the matter. To add to that, April keeps reminding me that Madison needs to start looking at colleges to apply to next year. Presumably, my sister’s advanced knowledge of pan-dimensional travel is not even good enough for her resume, even though she was more advanced than most of our own kind on the matter.

April seems to be under enough pressure as it is as we come closer to the end of the school semester. I have also continued to work at the school, so I have my own grades to turn in. April has also been pressing me on some plan for the “holidays.” For me, the holiday was Thanksgiving, but there are all of these end of year holidays that take up so much importance, particularly with family.

Yes, and there is the family element. Even though it was Madison’s idea in the first place that I ask April out, she does not want anything to do with her. I can understand April is Madison’s teacher, but my sister has been downright rude to her lately, which April has taken offense to. April insists she is trying to remain calm and professional when it comes to Madison’s class work, but April seems to be putting all the blame for Madison’s behavior on me, as if I have some control over my teenage sister.

Honestly, I do not understand these human females I am surrounded with. Perhaps Charles is right and I need to find more male friends to balance it all out.

Feasting

So now my favorite holiday has come to pass, Thanksgiving, the great celebration of food. There are of course the traditional courses according to American culture: turkey, corn, potatoes. I made a modest green bean casserole myself. This was not my most adventuresome nor best dish by any means, though I do like keeping up with local customs. I am also proud to say that I helped greatly with the turkey.

Madison had another fight with Nick, much to my delight, so it was not difficult to convince her to spend Thanksgiving with me at Charles and Alice’s house. I went over early to help prepare the turkey and stuffing, which we did in the traditional manner, that is actually stuffing the bird. Often, stuffing is prepared and baked in a casserole dish, but I prefer this traditional way better. Then, of course was the aforementioned green bean casserole.

The one part of the feast that did not go according to plan was April. This was to be our first Thanksgiving as a couple, so my assumption was that we would be together. In fact, that was her assumption as well. However, I clearly planned something incorrectly because she wanted to spend Thanksgiving Day with her family, and I had already committed to helping Charles. I was perfectly willing to do both, but April did not take too much of a liking to this idea. She did end up spending the day with her parents and sister, and I went from Charles and Alice’s to April’s later in the day, which I thought to be acceptable. Still, April was not pleased with this decision.

I do not know what she expected to do. If I had known that we were supposed to spend all day with her family, I would have planned otherwise, but I had already made a commitment to my neighbors. I could not very well back out on them. My sister said I was being stupid, but she did not expand to much on that statement. She was being quiet again, presumably because of Nick, and I got the impression she did not mind staying too close to home. I also got the impression that Madison was somehow upset with April as well, but I cannot say why. April still is her teacher, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

At least she ate well. Last time she quarreled with Nick, she barely ate for days.

Best Laid Plans

As you may know, I have a great love of cooking Earth cuisine. With my sister’s heartache last week and with my continuing frustration in getting any kind of funding or support to open my own restaurant, I though it would be a good time to invite some friends over, have a nice feast, and try to cheer up Madison a little. This did not go as planned.

April was of course very supportive as always, but Charles and Alice, my neighbors who are always enthusiastic to take part in a social gathering, were not so willing this time. They said they were too busy preparing for their own annual Thanksgiving feast, which is still two weeks away. To make matters worse, April invited Nick over to dinner, which was not in the plan at all. I suppose this means they have made up and are back together. I still want to kill him, though. He consumed all of my carefully prepared dinner like he was the Ravenous Bloodbeast of Rigel 6. He could not even take the time to savor it. I do not understand at all what my sister sees in him.

At least, I have Thanksgiving to look forward to. Charles asked me to help with a couple of the dishes.

Heartbreak

Sometimes, I really wish I could kill people. Yes, I do understand that is frowned upon in most human societies, which is completely understandable, but I find that when it comes to my sister I am growing a bit of what humans call a temper.

The reason that my sister has been so quiet around me these past few days is not because I disapproved of her Halloween costume. Well, it was not entirely because I disapproved of her Halloween costume. April relayed the story to me since Madison is still not talking to me. The primary reason was because she and Nick, the unworthy ape descendent that she took as a boyfriend, had a big fight on Halloween. From what I could gather, the fight stemmed from their planned events for the evening. Apparently, these events involved alcohol and sexual intercourse!

While Madison has become a bit of an irrational human female in our time here, she has still remained sensible in many important decisions. While she did, against my better advice, have “a drink or two,” I will give her credit in that she denied Nick sex. I could even go so far as to say I felt pride in hearing she made that decision. However, that decision did not have the same reaction from Nick, who is a hormonal teenagers like all other human males his age. He supposedly believed he deserved sex from my sister for “putting up with her” for so long.

When I heard this, April had to restrain me because I was eager to reach for the plasma molecular destabilizer and take care of this Nick fellow once and for all. I never liked him anyway. However, April convinced me that this would only make matters worse. Not only would I be culpable to the murder of an “innocent boy,” but my sister would hate me for it. Even though she wishes him dead, she still seems to love him. This I do not understand. Why would she put up with such disrespect? But April assured me that it is something Madison needs to work out. I should just be her supportive older brother and a shoulder to cry on. So, that is precisely what I have been doing.

There has been a lot of crying, that is for certain. I do not even know if this means Madison and Nick are broken up. I certainly hope so, but I have a sneaking suspicion their relationship is not quite over.

Silence

Halloween was quite a success, I must say. April decided to dress up as her version of an alien visitor. She claims it was supposed to be scary, but I thought it was the cutest costume I’ve ever seen. That was not the reaction she was hoping to get from me, but I enjoyed how she pouted about it. I probably should not have because she seemed a little mad at one point, but she got over it.

My sister Madison on the other hand is another story. She was wearing something that was, I thought, a little too revealing, so I forced her to add on to it for modesty. She was not happy with me for that one. In fact, I think she is still mad at me. She has been incredibly quiet and has not spoken to me since Halloween. This may be one of those human female emotional responses I have not yet gotten accustomed to, but it is odd, even for Madison. I am sure her silence cannot last long.

Costuming

It is back to that fun time of year again when a good old alien can be an alien once again. This time, I get to share it with April, who has become obsessed with finding the perfect couples costumes for us. I think she also wants to participate a little more in my “alien heritage,” whatever that means.

I suppose I have spent a lot of time with my alien refugees, trying to integrate them into human society. This Halloween holiday, with the dressing up and fake monsters, is the perfect time to do that, and I am glad April sees that as well. Her interest does concern me to a certain degree because of the danger it presents. I am perfectly comfortable with what see knows, and I no longer fear what she might see or thing of me. However, I am still not sure what the others of my kind would think about April. She is not only just another strange human to them. She is someone special to me, and I don’t think they are ready to accept that.

Still, this Halloween will be fun. I am also hoping my sister will participate in celebrating with some of our people. She loves Halloween, but she has not been as willing to be around our kind much lately.

Magic

April surprised me with the more wonderful gift this weekend, the gift of magic!

In my mission to study all there is to learn about human culture, I somehow overlooked its extensive paranormal sub-culture. There is a castle in Hollywood dedicated entirely to the art of Magic. They call it, coincidentally enough, The Magic Castle.

I witnessed the most amazing illusions right in front of my eyes. Card tricks, crystal balls disappearing, one magician even guessed a number I thought of (and I think of some tricky numbers). Also, there is something magical about the castle itself. I know much of human legend is made up of mere stories and imagination, but there is definitely some power being harnessed in this place. I think some of my alien refugee friends would fit in well here.

Deals

If there is one thing that humans like to do, it is renegotiate deals. As it seems, the government is not convinced that those Swiss scientists’ results on breaking the speed of light were entirely accurate. Of course, they still want my knowledge on alien technology, including faster than light travel, but it is apparently not worth as much to them as they originally stated. Therefore, this restaurant I have been trying to get out of them is “going on the back burner” as they call it.

I would say I am disappointed, but I am getting used to this. My sister seems to be more disappointed, though I think that means I will have to continue working at her school. She is getting a bit more touchy about me being around, which is surprising considering how happy she was to have me back. I think this must be another one of those female emotions I am still getting used to.

Faster Than Light

From what I understand, human scientists have succeeded in breaking the speed of light. It has been all over the news. If their discovery is indeed true, even I must admit it is quite the accomplishment for human beings. Of course, it was just neutrinos that supposedly travelled faster than light, not an actual human, but my people have know methods for faster than light travel for centuries, so an accomplishment for humans nonetheless.

On a similar subject, considering humanity's obsession with speed, I have learned of a human phenomenon frustratingly not at the speed of light: human bureaucracy.

As you know, I have been a somewhat reluctant ambassador to the local government given the relatively small influx of refugees from my home world. My only interest, in all honesty, is to continue on my life as an average human. I also have my new goal of becoming a cook and eventually having my own restaurant. I do not ask for much, but I had hoped with all the help I have provided to the government that they would provide some assistance.

That is the other word I learned this week: naiveté.

After some derisive laughter at my request, my contact in the government did propose "a deal" as he called it. He said that he would "consider the request" if I provided him some information on faster than light travel. I suppose there is competition with the Swiss after all. Even though I consider myself a citizen of this world, they still have a long way to come with that research.

I can sense that even if I withdraw my request, they will continue to pressure me for more technological secrets from my world. I suppose I could lie and give them information that will soon be outdated, but I can sense this may be a source of trouble down the line.

The Joy of Food

As I have come to my first year of writing this blog, which I am reminded I must credit to my sister, I feel the need to reflect on the thing which fascinates me the most about humans. Food.

In my earliest blog entries, I expounded on my love of human cuisine, particularly the barbecue. This past weekend was another time of barbecues in addition to other wonderful food experiences. Knowing my love of food, April treated me to what is known as an "urban food crawl" this past weekend. We live not that far from Los Angeles, so we took the public transit system to downtown, where we joined a walking tour of the area and the most delightful restaurants and eateries.

The process took most of the day, including an hour stop for beer and wine tasting, which was more than adequate to get me inebriated. It reminded me again what wonderful flavors exist in this world. I have decided, the time has finally come for me to accept that my sister and I are indeed stuck here as the local government has told me and to stop my insistence that this blog is for research purposes only. It is time to fully explore this notion of food and cooking on a more regular basis.

I am going to thoroughly study as many of these culinary intricacies as is possible, and should it be possible to acquire the capital, I would like to open up my own restaurant. I have become a decent cook on my own. All I require is a bit more study for sure. How hard could it be?

I also must admit as I start up my current job again at April's school that as knowledgeable I am on every science known to human, I am not good when it comes to interacting with human teenagers. My own sister can attest this and is in fact quite mortified at the prospect of having to take a class I am teaching.

In the meantime, until this new venture of creating a restaurant to cook for, I will continue to learn every delicacy known to man and taste every menu I can find in the local area.

Now that I think about it, refining my palate may require me to do some traveling.

April

I have said it many times, human females are baffling. April is a girl I have gotten emotionally involved with in a way I never thought possible. She intrigues me, sometimes frustrates me, and always excites me. Of course, April, like all women, is completely unpredictable. This unpredictability is also exciting and frustrating.

Ever since I've been back, April has wanted to spend more time together. I believe the phrase she used was "pick back up where we left off." I was very happy to oblige and return to my normal human routine. This presented a problem, however, because I found that my new duties as alien ambassador to the local government kept interfering with that normalcy, and we both had different ideas of what "pick back up where we left off" meant. For me, it seemed, it was that I was taking April for granted.

I would never insult April in such a way as to truly take her for granted, but as I have explained, I am not good with human emotions, so I can only surmise how it would appear that way. So, my sister, always one to interfere in my business, insisted that I plan a long romantic weekend with April to "recapture the romance" as she said.

I suspect my sister had an ulterior motive in getting me out of the house for the weekend, but in the end, it did not matter. Last weekend was amazing.

With Madison's help, I planned it all out. Romantic dinner, breakfast in bed, day at the beach, a night at the Magic Castle (another topic I will have to cover later, the human concept of magic is interesting), Sunday brunch, and of course shopping. Apparently, I am also still good at the sex. There was quite a bit of that. Well, there was more than normal. Not excessively more. Still, we were good at it.

April, who also reads this blog and sometimes proofreads my words, has just expressed to me that though it is "cute" that I still stumble over explaining sex, I do not need to talk about it so much. There are other places on the internet to go for that sort of thing. So, that is all I am allowed to talk about our sex life. It is good, though. Yes, April confirmed that.

My sister is also asking me to refrain from talking about my sex life. I have since informed her that, in a way, it was all her idea. She did not seem pleased with that retort.

So, Our romantic weekend was a success. I seem to have patched things up with April, and I have every intention of keeping that romance alive. I could not be happier about it. This is the one thing about being human that simultaneously intrigues and baffles me the most. I understand cooking. I can grasp the formulas of ingredients and the pleasure of tasting a good dish. Romance still baffles me. I can say that I do love April. As much as an alien such as myself can understand love, I do.

Of course, now I have friends and colleagues constantly telling me to "lock that down," whatever that means.

The Long Weekend

Sometimes I hate it when my sister is right. Sometimes she does have some quite valuable insight.

Thanks to some helpful advice and prodding from Madison, I just got back from a long weekend of romance with April. I had forgotten how much work this human romance can be. I had also forgotten how much it can be worth it.

I will describe in more detail the events of our necessary romantic outing later, but I will say now that they were quite successful in reconciling my relationship with April. Surprising both that I had to and that I did not until now realize why.

Human females are still confounding creatures to me.

Damage Control

I feel the need to apologize for being absent from posting in recent days. I would hate to alarm anyone that would think I have disappeared or been kidnapped again, but I have been dealing with some personal issues.

My sister would like me to stress that these personal issues do not have to do with her.

I have once again come across some friction in my relationship with April. She claims that I have not given her enough attention since my return. I tried to respond calmly to her that I have given her enough attention that the situation allows. I now have this new wave of alien immigrants the local government has tasked me to orient, and I am finally getting used to being back to what most humans would classify as "normal." If anything, I think I should be given a little more attention, considering all I've been through in the past couple months.

April did not take kindly to that response. Therefore, I am doing some damage control on our relationship right now. I certainly want to continue it, and I still have these feelings for her. I am simply unsure what my next step should be. I think I shall plan a romantic weekend for the two of us. Hopefully, that will put things back on track, so to speak.

Fables

One thing that never ceases to amaze me about earth-kind is your unending ability to tell stories.

I have come to learn that the most common of these stories passed down through the generations are fairy tales--Jack and the Beanstalk, the Big Bad Wolf, and so forth--often changing with each generation. Two weeks ago, when I proceeded with my plan to integrate expatriates of my own world into this one, I thought that a celebration of the strange such as Comic Con in San Diego would be the perfect cover. I also came away with more appreciation for the stories of this world.

I recognized quite a selection with an interest in the extra terrestrial, which did fascinate me, but of the books I picked up, I have become most enamored with a series that incorporates some of your own fairy tales: Fables.

Fables is the story of a community of fairy tale characters living in the real--or as they call it "mundane"--world. I could not help but think of my own situation, attempting to build a community for myself, my sister, and our fellow expatriates and refugees. Well, perhaps we are not as fantastical as these fables characters, but it has gotten me thinking.

Would it be best if we were to all stay together, form a small community here in the suburbs of Southern California to live our own way, hiding away from the trouble of the human world? We certainly have the technology to do so, though we may not have the proper access anymore.

Or should we all go our separate ways and attempt to blend into our surroundings and new neighbors? My sister and I have done that relatively successfully for the past year, I think. Perhaps it should be some happy medium between the two. Time will tell, I suppose.

Still, I do like the notion of living like these fairy tale characters in a strange world that they do not fully understand but which everyone around them takes for granted. I wonder if earth-kind knew about us, if they would look upon us as though we were fables living in their world.

Also, I do quite like the story of these Fables. I wonder how it will turn out.

Among Us

I had hoped on my return home--to my adopted home, that is--that everything would return to normal. Normal is not something I can ever hope to have again though, not that I ever really knew what that was.

I will admit, there was a certain bliss to the idea that my sister and I were alone on this planet. Now that I know for sure we are not, and the insistence that I be some kind of representative to these scattered lost aliens, life has become much more complicated.

The powers that be thought this past weekend would be an ideal time to ease some of my "alien friends" in with the rest of the human populous in San Diego. I suppose they chose San Diego for two reasons. Firstly, it is close to the U.S. border with neighboring country Mexico, so they apparently friendly with immigrants there. Secondly, this past weekend in San Diego was a convention of human interest known as Comic Con.


As I think more about it now, this cover story did work well in it's simplicity. In crowds of thousands of people, all dressed up as the strangest characters this side of Betelgeuse, no one is going to notice some strangely acting aliens. That is what they are all expecting, after all.

I cannot say what the other alien immigrants must have thought. Speaking for myself, I have gotten used to the bizarre and exhibitionist nature of humans, though the others may have assumed the convention center was some kind of intergalactic train depot. I must admit, I did feel as though we fit in better there than in regular suburban life sometimes.

I brought both Madison and April down with me to San Diego, and we all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. It was the first time I remember being able to enjoy myself openly for quite a long time. I even discovered some new video games that I may add to my inventory. Also, I was pleasantly surprised by how many humans seem to peacefully accept the notion of extra-terrestrial life and cultures living among them, even if it is only pretend to them.

As for my people, getting them into earth culture was quite easy there. Many opportunities presented themselves for social gatherings and the consumption of alcohol. It was a "party weekend" from what I understand, and no matter how strange and alien they seemed to behave, there were plenty of other humans that behaved even more strangely.

The rest of the week has been a little more tedious, giving identities and homes and jobs to my fellow expatriates. It will be a slow road ahead to building some little community to feel like out homeworld, but I am confident we can succeed. I have to, otherwise I fear the government may threaten us with death. Some of my peers have also discovered online gaming, so we will have many things to keep us occupied.

The Return, Part 3

Madison here. My brother has gotten a bit long-winded, as he usually does, so of course he needs me to finish off this tale of how he caused Carmageddon. Yeah, I’m still a little mad at him for causing me to worry the past couple months, but that’s just how he is.

So, Carter got himself kidnapped by the Contingency Team that for some reason intended to invade Earth. There’s a lot I never knew about out mission to Earth, but I’m sure we were never meant to live here. The fact that I came along was a bit of a fluke. I had no one to look after me except for my brother, so I had to follow him. I suppose he must have known I would be able to adapt to Earth culture more quickly than him. He also clearly knew that I would be able to figure out whatever emergency protocol he put together should something happen to him.

As much of a cold, calculating bore he can be sometimes, I do love the guy, so I was more than worried when he went missing. Once Douglas and I cracked that message that came through Carter’s satellite radio, it didn’t take me long to figure out that it was from the invading team and that my brother had to have been the “priority asset” they had captured, so I had to find a way to get him back.

I knew Douglas would be a big help. Even though it was a risk that Carter would probably not have approved, I had to tell him the truth, or at least some of it. He helped with all the computer stuff. And April was amazing. She had been so concerned since Carter disappeared, so we were there for each other with moral support. Plus, and I knew Carter would appreciate this, she helped keep up the rouse that Carter was somehow around and she was my adult supervisor. That didn't really help things with Nick, but I could never tell him anything about who were are really. He can be great and all, but he just couldn't understand what was going on. But he did help with one thing, he let me borrow his car.

By myself, I have no idea how I could have found Carter, even with the help of my friends. But I had one unexpected ally. I can only guess it was someone Carter had filled in with the plan because the next thing I knew, this freeway closure plan came together. It started with those odd posts, occasional messages. Then, as if automatically, the Bad Wolf protocol was initiated. This was some inside joke my brother came up with, but it did what it was designed to do. It caused chaos.

I can only assume we got help from someone. I want to hope that it was the Prince, just because I kinda want a VIP pass to his next concert, but that might be hoping for too much. Whoever it was, it clued me into Carter's government contact, and Carter had kept him pretty tightly under wraps from me. Good thing, too, because that's how we figured out that the invaders were using the I-405 construction as a cover. The whole construction and shut down that had been crippling the Los Angeles County traffic system was all a very sly brand of psychological terrorism. I shouldn't have been surprised. It's the exact kind of weird thing my brother would have come up with. Yet, it was working.

Then, the miracle happened. The city somehow came together with the closing of the freeway. The agents got the word out, the people of southern California stayed home, and the roads were empty for two days. This was just enough time for the rescue plan.

The invaders' plan was to destroy the freeway system during the shutdown, but when we showed up, they didn't have an escape plan. All the entrances and exits were closed, and they had nowhere to go. Luckily, the government agents surprised and distracted the invaders just long enough for me to find Carter--or I should say, for him to find me.

The jerk. He said he had it under control the whole time. Apparently, he convinced the rogue aliens of his expertise in the computer networks of Earth, so they needed him to control the various traffic cameras and signals, and whatever else he promised them to complete their evil plan. Instead, he used his access as a way to warn the city government. So, in the chaos, with the help of Nick's car, I was able to rescue him, and escape before any more government agents showed up.

As for the rogue invaders, who knows what the government is doing to them. Carter says he's been in contact with them, but won't reveal any more than that. So, he is slowly going back to his old enigmatic ways. I made sure the first thing he did as soon as he got home was to see April. She had been so worried, and they were both so relieved at their reunion. Carter was actually a sweet guy for once. I guess they have a lot to talk about now.

And I guess that brings us about up to speed. Carter is home. The world is safe. Everything is back to normal. Except for one thing.

Apparently, during Carter's time with the rogues, he discovered more of our kind than just Prince living down here. Carter's government contact asked us to be some kind of embassy for them. Yes, I said "us"! Including me!! Well, I guess all we have to do is meet these stray aliens and try to show them how to be human. If it's anything like teaching Carter, this is going to take a long time.

And here I was hoping to have the rest of the summer off.

The Return, Part 2

Where was I? Yes, I was explaining about how exactly my kidnapping led to the shutdown of a major California roadway and an unseasonably peaceful weekend.

As you may have read, all of my troubles began three months ago, at the end of April when Prince held audience in town. The musical artist you know as Prince is in fact a real prince in the royal house of my home world. His presence on Earth appeared to be benign in nature, but since his presence here was a surprise to me, I thought it might be a good idea to investigate further into others of our kind living on this planet. As I undertook this action, I knew I would have to be even stealthier than I was trained for, since it could attract all sorts of danger. Then, there was the matter of April.

Against my better judgment, I agreed to more than one date with April, who is one of my sister’s instructors at the local school, and we became quickly involved. It was never my intention, but I somehow developed feelings for April. I soon came to the decision that I could no longer keep my true identity secret from her. Telling her where I came from could put her in danger, but I knew that her not knowing and understanding the truth could endanger her more. As much personal trouble as it caused, she was at least prepared for what happened next.

As best as I have been able to determine, I was not the only one who decided to look further into the presence of Prince. When I began to quietly investigate Prince and those around him, I thought I had to be careful to arouse suspicion from those I was investigating. I had not anticipated that there would be a third party with an altogether different motive. The others that were keeping their eyes on Prince were former comrades I thought had been long gone after the mission that brought me and my sister here had failed. They were part of the invasion force.

First, you must understand, my mission was never part of any kind of invasion. Our team was to study and attempt to assimilate ourselves into human culture in attempt to understand and eventually ally ourselves with the inhabitants of Earth. However, should our mission prove that no such alliance was possible, the contingency was to be prepared if humans were too dangerous to our existence. No real invasion in such terms was planned. Unfortunately, the contingency team took matters into their own hands.

What I have since learned is that the accident that doomed the craft that was meant to bring us all to Earth was in fact no accident at all. It was an attack, meant to frame Earthlings for a act of war that was a complete fabrication.

Needless to say, my presence here, along with the Prince, jeopardized this particular plan, and I discovered it just too late. They could not touch the Prince, but due to my blog, they needed to silence me and it, and quickly. This also meant my sister was in danger of becoming their target as well.

I acted quickly to lock out my blog so they could not touch it, and I only hoped that Madison would be able to figure it out. Fortunately, I knew her friend Douglas would be able to figure something out. He was already beginning to suspect something about us, so he would be a useful ally. Luckily, they were able to pick up on my hidden codes and messages when my protocol was initiated.

Then, I would just need time. Time for my sister to figure it all out and try to contact those who would be able to help us. That time would take two months, but it culminated in the best lie the local government could come up with.

More on that in the next part…

The Return, Part 1

“How hard could it be?” As the saying goes, famous last words.

Carter here. Yes, I am finally back. For reasons that are far too difficult to explain succinctly but will hopefully become clear later, I had to go “off the grid” for a while. Of course, when I say “I had to” I mean I was forced. I must apologize to my dear sister of course and to April, who must have gone through as much emotional turmoil during my absence, which was unfortunately against my free will.

I will attempt to best explain what happened to me, which is quite a tale, so I will publish the posts over the next three days. In order to understand everything that has happened over the past two months, it is best to explain it in reverse, starting the reacquisition of this blog.

It may not seem like much, but I have been reestablished by orders from ranking government officials. I have now been commissioned a kind of ambassadorship of my people here on earth. While the government has been monitoring my actions including this blog from the beginning, they have only recently come to see the value in having an advanced alien intelligence as an ally. Of course, my sister is laughing at me right now as I refer to myself as said intelligence, but what do earth governments know. (I am also sure any government agents out there monitoring this blog have a sense of humor, which I am attempting to develop. Ha.)

So, once the government saw the usefulness of a direct, friendly forum with aliens (yes, I did say aliens with an emphasis on the plural, but more on that later), they needed a plan to get control of it. Unfortunately for them, I was detained. Thank goodness, my sister came through.

As I will explain further in Part 2, the reason for my disappearance was because I had been kidnapped by others of my own kind. Having already established that our Prince was living among humans for some time, I was prepared for this encounter, which is why I had set up my emergency protocols in a way only my sister could access them.

Back when Madison convinced me to write this blog about my life on Earth, I knew there would be more than a little risk. Yes, the government knew exactly where I was, so that was hardly a mystery, and I had established that humans will pretty much except and dismiss everything without a thought, so most would think my internet ramblings were pure entertainment. Most of the rest would be relatively benign, and any small danger from humans, I thought I had accounted for. No, it was my own alien race that I worried about reading this blog. If they were to discover it, not knowing I was alive and trying to contact them, in the wrong eyes, I would be seen as a threat exposing our ways and plans to out intended targets. (Again, more on that later.)

So, when I was "kidnapped" as you humans say, I had already set up my simple internet blog with more than the simple user password, so it shut down. It was an automated time lock that would track my whereabouts. So, I knew that when my sister, who was the only one possibly able to get into my computer, finally established contact, it would lead her right to me. Fortunately, I had also counted on the government discovering this blog was a trans-galactic communications device, so they would have an interest in helping my sister get it all back.

From what Madison tells me, the government, your government then came up with a foolproof plan to hack into my own system, shut down a major communications and shipping lane, infiltrate the alien team that had kidnapped me, and somehow in the end come out with no human casualties and getting me out alive.

It was a success, I must admit. I am here after all. I am not sure how much stealth was actually involved compared to the gullibility of the residents of Southern California. You may have heard of the cover story they used for the chaos that was my prison break.

They called it CARMAGEDDON.

A rather pedestrian code-name if you ask me, but then American English is not my first language. But “How could it go wrong?” they said. Well, I will explain exactly how in the next part...

405

>>>LINE ESTABLISHED>>>

REBOOT initialized...shutdown accepted.

Carter here. Communications to be silenced. 53 hour window.

Do no harm...

Bad Wolf

SYSTEM REBOOT...

Protocol BAD WOLF initiated...
...
...1B3B3...
...
REBOOT...

Madison here. I don't have much time. Carter is alive. That's all I can say for now. Having to scramble and reset the blog to maintain security. This old protocol doesn't make any sense, but my brother was always a little odd with his Earth references. After six weeks of this, he never said how hard it would be maintaining our cover story. All I can say for now is things are going down.

If only I can get to my brother first...

...END OF LINE...

Danger

It has been almost two weeks and still no sign of Carter. This has turned into more than just my brother getting himself into trouble. If he was hurt or killed, we would have heard something by now, so something is up.

April has been great. We quietly put the word out to those that we can trust, otherwise
I have tried to maintain business as normal. “My brother is out of town on business” is the line I’ve been giving. Of course, Nick has been incorrigible. He wants to throw a party since my brother is gone, but I can’t tell him why I’m in no mood for a party. He can be sweet and all, but I know he just won’t be able to handle the truth. It’s made him reasonably angry, and he unfairly took it out on Douglas, who I think I can trust enough to confide in. So, as you can guess, my lovelife has been turning into a bit of a mess, and I was annoyed at Carter up till now. Now, I am worried.

I’m trying to step up the search. Carter will lecture me once this is over, I’m sure, but I thought it might be time to notify the authorities. After all, the government supposedly knows we are here. I didn’t know how to go about talking to the right people, but I figured Carter must have left some way for me to bypass the protocols without him. He was ridiculously thorough.

Douglas and I tried breaking into my brother’s safe in the garage, and that’s when it hit me. His car. Since he got his new car, he has been modifying it. I thought he was just improving on the human technology of the engine, but when Douglas looked at it, I could tell from his reaction that it was definitely beyond anything he expected in a car. My brother has been using the new car to build our alien technology. So, I turned it on.

That’s when I got the message.

The satellite radio that was installed in the car was modified to be a communication device back to our homeworld. It didn’t work properly, I could tell. I think that’s why Carter didn’t tell me about it yet. But it definitely connected to someone. I didn’t realize it at first, but the satellite station it picked up was all Prince music. I remembered what Carter told me about our Prince being on this planet. I had hoped he had gone to see him for us to meet back with our people again. As I adjusted the satellite radio controls, I found a message coming in. I was relieved at first. I was sure it was Carter. It was not.

I don’t know who it was. I don’t know if the person or being on the other end could hear me as I hear them, but the message was clear as can be:

“Danger. Mission compromised. Retrieve priority assets. Disavow and liquidate all others.”

We are in more trouble than I thought. Brother, if you are out there, I'm coming to find you.

Carter is Missing

This is Madison, Carter's sister. Of course, you know by now those are not our real names, but let's just go with it. If you've been following this blog, my brother has probably spilled a little about me, so no this is not some childish human prank. My brother is missing.

Last I saw him was last week. He was scared of something.I can't go into the details right now, but for the sake of communication, if he does turn up or if anyone has seen him, I decided to keep this blog running instead of shutting it down.

I thought he'd gone to patch up things with April since he was stupid enough to tell her all about us, but she has not seen him since Friday. There is some superstition around Friday the 13th, but I think that was some kind of cover. I told Douglas as much as I thought he needed to know, since he has a good mind. Rick, I think I'll keep in the dark a little while longer. Douglas thought I should shut this site down. He has too many conspiracy theories in his head, but at least he's thinking in the right direction. And he helped me crack the password to this blog and engineer a couple new security protocols. I should be able to trust him for now.

I will keep posting with updates as I get them, but if anyone knows anything about where my brother is, please contact me.

-Madison

Do No Harm

Protocol DWR66 initiated.

Absence detected, priority one. This is not a drill. Follow protocol.

Do no harm...

Don't Panic

UPDATE: [5/15/11 5:04 PM]
Something isn't right. No one has seen my brother since Friday. I had assumed he planned a long weekend away to fix things up with April, but she hasn't heard from him. This isn't like him at all, and this previous post is suspicious. It is written too casually and brief, and if anyone likes to talk, it's my brother.

April is worried about him, and I can't blame her based on their last conversation. I'll check the protocols. If it was important, he would not have left without a trail I could find.

Posted by Madison A. at 5:04 PM

~~~~~

I'll be down for a short period of time, but don't worry, it's all routine. Just a few hiccups in the system and smoothing out some personal matters. I'll be back to blogging shortly.

Coming Clean

I am not sure I understand the term "coming clean" because it implies that whatever secret or truth one has been holding back is dirty and therefore divulging it can only be clean and healthy. While telling the truth is the right thing to do, it rarely clean.

I finally told April the truth, the truth about where Madison and I came from, the existence of aliens living among humans, as much as I could until she made me stop. I was worried about the Prince's presence here, particularly when my sister and her friends (including her boyfriend) got tickets to his concert. While I have come to believe he is here in peace, the implication that other of my kind, including royalty, poses too much of a threat. I love April. Yes, that is right, I love her. I may not fully understand what that human emotion truly means, but after our argument last week, I believe she deserves to know the truth, even if I knew it would get messy.

I am not sure how to describe her reaction. At first, she did not believe me, as I suspected, and though I was telling some kind of joke. As I insisted, she still did not believe me and got angry, as if I was making up some elaborate lie in order to break up with her or something. Of course, this could not be farther from the truth, so I determined that the only way she would believe me is I showed her this blog, the remains of our transport that I have salvaged for parts, and the "ray guns" as she called them. Then, she got scared.

She became even more insistent that I am a liar, disgusted about my true identity. At least she believes me. She wanted reassurance that we came in peace. I could tell her that was my intention as an observer, but I could not tell her for sure about the rest of the planned mission or the visitors here now. I supposed I could have lied to ease her fears, but I did not want to keep lying. I honestly do not know if she is going to tell anyone else. I would think not, I hope not, but regardless she has really stopped talking to me now. I do not know what to do.

Madison told me I am crazy for revealing all this, even as I pointed out to my sister that it was her idea for me to start this blog. Unfortunately, even she does not know how I can convince April to talk to me, or even believe me again, and she is the expert on human behavior.

I may have made a mistake.

The Dog House

April and I got into our first significant argument as a couple yesterday, and as a result I am what is metaphorically known as "in the dog house." At least I think I'm getting that right.

The argument began because I forgot about our anniversary date. I was apparently supposed to plan romantic dinner an other such pleasantries, which I am normally happy to do, but I did not know it was expected of me at this moment. I realize now I should have known why, but I made things worse by saying I did not know I was supposed to do such a thing. As an attempt to explain my absentmindedness in the expectations and rituals of romance, I said that I had other important things on my mind.

I know now this was an even worse thing for me to say. In my partial defense, I did not say I had more important things on my mind, just other, but that point is moot. While we were on the subject, April finally confronted me with the facts that she knows very little about me and my past, and outside of being an instructor to my sister, she wants to know more about me and my family. This, exacerbated by the fact that I think it might still be too dangerous to tell her at the moment, has resulted in her cutting off communication and refusing to answer my calls.

I am now using every piece of knowledge I have on the art of romance to think of a way to make it up to her. This mostly involves consulting my sister, though she seems to think I deserve the punishment I am getting.

Again, this is not an excuse, but as a footnote it is worth noting that the "other" important thing that was weighing on my mind at the time began as a result of the Prince being in town. I was initially put at ease by his generous performance among the oblivious human populous. However, the thought has been gnawing at me that if he has been on Earth all this time, and we have seemingly been unaware of each other, who might else be here?

Then, I decided to ease my mind by finding my old nemesis Morgoth and challenging him to combat in the online world of Call of Duty. That is when I discovered that the Playstation Network was down, supposedly due to a security breach. It is still down. I realize this may be the result of too much assumption, but when that occurred, I became sure that some nefarious business was occurring.

So, this is where I come to the crossroads. Do I attempt to further investigate the arrival of the Prince, the disruption in service of the online Playstation Network, and any other possible contact this world has had with my kind? All of which, could expose both me and my sister, not to mention any humans we are connected to, to possible danger.

Or do I forget about all that and just try to make amends with April? And do I tell her the truth, which could also put her in danger?

Or do I sit back and hope that all of this blows over because there may not be any danger at all?

No, I think I must do something, starting with making it up to April.

An Audience With The Prince

I had forgotten what a commanding presence the Prince was. He held audience with several thousand humans last night, and each one of them, including myself, was drawn to his power. The genius of his presence here is, he is hiding in plain sight. He is know to all humans here as simply Prince.


Yes, that is correct, the lost prince of my homeworld is the music artist the people of Earth also refer to as Prince. From my best impressions, he is continuing on as he always has, enjoying the attention that his royalty brings and giving his subjects exactly what they want. I never knew him personally--I was too young when I left the homeworld--but I always liked him. Part of me still wonders if he would recognize me or others of our kind if we met, but best I can tell, I do not think he would care. He was never the world conquering kind of ruler, and he was well know for loving music and the arts, which is why it was not so shocking all those rotations ago when he left the royal house and disappeared.

Still, a part of me wonders why he chose to come here. Was it some great coincidence? Certainly, he is able to have the best of all possible worlds here, enjoying his royalty and entertaining the masses. April certainly enjoyed the performance as anyone. I am thankful that I have not been compelled to explain everything to her yet.

April does want to be more part of my private life on a daily basis. I will have to explain more to her soon. Also, if the Prince is here, and Madison and I are here, who else could be living their lives among the humans without anyone else noticing? Whether the Prince is involved or not, perhaps there is some other agenda playing out that I have not yet considered.

Tonight, The Prince

The visitor, our Prince, is holding audience tonight, and somehow April acquired tickets to attend. My sister wants to attend as well, but I told her she must stay home until I can determine the situation. I do not know if the Prince will recognize us, or if he is even looking for us. I am hoping the situation is safe for April considering it is an audience for humans who are none the wiser.

It has been a long time since I have seen the Prince, so I hope his intentions are benign. If not, April will deserve a lot of explaining from me very quickly.

Visitor

A visitor has arrived in town. I never fathomed that I would see him again.

As unlikely as it seems, his presence was brought to my attention by a friend of April, who of course would not know his true identity. He has recently arrived in Los Angeles and has gone so far as to openly declare himself as royalty, fitting that he is a prince on our homeworld. It is so unlikely, I am not completely sure I am correct in guessing his identity, but all signs point to it. I have spent most of the weekend attempting to confirm my suspicions. Fortunately, April has been out of town for the weekend while I investigate.

His disguise is so audacious, no one could possibly expect him to be anything but human. Why would an alien being draw so much attention to himself? Nevertheless, I must find out for sure. I wonder how long he has been here, and if he is still acting on behalf of the homeworld, if he is still in contact with them at all.

Who is this Captain EO?

One of the advantages of taking residence in southern California, aside from the weather, is being in close proximity to any number of cultural hotspots. The new location I have added to my list is a place called Disneyland.

The subject came up when April told me fond stories of her childhood, and she expressed how growing up in the region she always cherished the times her family would go to this amusement park in Anaheim. When I admitted that I had yet to go to Disneyland, she was so shocked, she forced me to plan a day trip down there. An interesting place, considering it is a replication of various cultural eras and touchstones of this world. The most intriguing to me was the land of tomorrow, as it was not at all what my perception of human space travel and future science has come to be. Much of it was quite ludicrous, like the rotating building that showed off much useless or outdated technology, at least as far as I could tell. The most surprising to me was a 3-D musical film about a man called Captain EO.

You may recognize this as a character famously portrayed by the late pop star Michael Jackson, who I am not particularly familiar with, but I feel that I must. I know I have come across this Captain EO in the past. He and his crew are all to familiar. I served with a captain in the mercenary legion that had such a reputation and crew of misfits as well as a very peculiar, very powerful weapon against adversaries made up of music and sound. It was a secret weapon used successfully in our defense of the colony on Sirius Major. What I wonder is how anyone on this planet could know about that, and who this Michael Jackson really was?

Nemesis, and Allies

I seem to have swayed both Madison and April over to my side. My sister finally came to terms with her grounding and decided to spend some of her new found time by taking an interest in the Playstation. I would not go quite so far as to say that she has forgiven me for being so hard on her, but at least we seem to be interacting again.

After some time trying to kill my avatar in Call of Duty, Madison finally came around when she encountered Morgoth. My nemesis then became her nemesis as well as he pulled every trick in the book to kill her. She was then instrumental in bringing Madison around to playing the game as well so that we could all team up to defeat this mysterious player that calls himself Morgoth.

I must say, my sister is even more obsessed with defeating my nemesis than I was. She has gone so far as to insist we more thoroughly investigate Morgoth's real identity so that we might set a trap for him. As human as my sister has become lately, I did not think she could be so cunning. How I love the women in my life.

Still Grounded

Just when I thought I was a successful disciplinarian, Madison decided to do something rash like sneaking out again. I really do not know what to do with her sometimes. I thought I had made it clear that this Nick fellow she is insistent on seeing is not an adequate mate for her.

She does not follow this advice and openly defies it, claiming she is not looking for a “mate” and that Nick is “a perfectly nice guy” and I just do not understand him. My sister says I am a hypocrite because I am dating her teacher and I do not understand anything about love. I may not understand it, but I know enough to know that the connection I have with April is something special. Nick is a hormonal human teenager that could not begin to comprehend who Madison is.

Madison said if I felt that way, then would I be willing to tell April the truth about where we came from. Of course, I could not do that, not because I do not think April would understand, but because I think she would, and that information is too dangerous for her to know.

Regardless, my sister is still forbidden from seeing Nick until she can control her emotions.

Timpano

My night of fine cuisine has arrived. Thanks to my neighbors and April getting the word out, the invited guests are all bringing appropriate dishes for the occasion. I am in charge of the main course, and it has taken me much of the day to prepare, for today I am undertaking Timpano, a baked pasta dish filled with only the Earth's tastiest ingredients.

Prep time completed around 12:05pm. Guests are set to arrive at 7:00pm, which means with baking and cooling time for the Timpano, it needs to go in the oven at 4:00pm.

At approximately 2:40pm, I went into a panic as I needed to make an emergency run to the store for a cooking thermometer. April was very sweet and kept me calm. Madison, who continues to be angry at me for grounding her for seeing Nick, spent much of her time tasting the ingredients, which of course through my measurements off.

Then, at 4:04pm with the pans filled and the oven preheated, the Timpano went in. More correctly, two Timpanos went in as it turned out I had enough ingredients after all. Madison continued eating the rest.

At 6:00pm the Timpano emerged from the oven and began to cool. I would not know until guests arrived.

Finally, at approximately 7:19pm guests began arriving and the feast was magnificent. I was more pleased with the turnout than I thought I would be. I knew very few of these people, most of them friends of April or of my neighbors Charles and Alice, and there were a few co-workers from school. I came to realize, outside of the few humans I am compelled to interact with on a regular basis, I have not made the effort that my sister has to really get to know people. My sister is of course, the most important part of my life, and I am growing to love April. I have even come to appreciate my neighbors. It feels good to have friends. I think it is time I stopped hiding in my safe, familiar home all the time. It is not only possible but most likely that Madison and I will never go home. We are citizens of this planet now, and it is time I started acting like it.

Gourmet Night

I admit, I have been hiding too much lately. April and I had our first real fight. She of course cannot understand the reason for me staying home and keeping my head down, but apparently that explanation is not good enough. Humans are far to curious. Human females, doubly so.

In attempt to be a little more social, April has convinced me to take my interest in cuisine and host a dinner party. The convincing was more along the lines of deciding for me because she already invited my neighbors Charles and Alice, who took the liberty of inviting everyone else they knew. I must admit, this is an unconventional but brilliant way to maintain my low profile. However, it will cut into my gaming due to the amount of planning it will take.

Morgoth will have to wait. Good cuisine is more important than vendetta.

Nemesis, revisited

After the near disaster the other day, I have decided it is safer to spend more time in the anonymous world of online gaming. Thus, I have returned to my old nemesis, morgoth6977.

Morgoth has gotten cocky, and I was able to return to the Call of Duty arena and best him with a sneak attack while he thought it safe to act as a sniper from afar. Classic case of tunnel vision. He could not see my attack coming. He of course knows to expect me now, but that makes the game all the better. I admit, there is something primal about the challenge of the hunt.

Unfortunately, I have paid so much attention to Morgoth, I did not give as much to April. Females here can sense that. I do no know how, but she knows when my attention is not fully on her. I attempted to explain my game, but that made her angry. I could not possibly explain to her my need to keep a low profile after the events of the other day. In attempt to appease her, I did agree to lessen my time in online games, though I do sneak in some time.

This balancing act that relationships require is difficult. It is a wonder that humans reproduce at the rate they do.

Grounded. Forever

I now have an understanding of the phrase "too much information." My sister has been a little too curious about my relationship with April. At first, I believed it to be genuine concern, and it has progressed into Madison, I believe the term is, "busting my chops."

Madison does have a better understanding of human emotion than I do, and she has pointed out the potential for error in my relationship with April. So, it is for only these matters of emotion that I turn to my younger sister for advice, but she has turned to teasing me relentlessly, particularly on the matter of my relationship progressing to sex. I of course understand at least that much protocol in discussing human emotions and will not discuss the matter. Then, Madison lets it slip. She is having sex, as well! She is having sex with Nick!

I have come dangerously close to breaking mission protocol on few occasions, but this time, I do not understand what emotions must have overcome my senses. I felt the urge to breaking the seal on the plasma weapons locker and disintegrating Nick into his base atomic particles.

I had gotten so far as opening the locker and charging the death ray when Madison finally stopped me. Well, truth be told, it was not just Madison. Douglas was there as well. He came over to discuss a school assignment with Madison and he saw me with the plasma ray. Fortunately, he had fair warning from Madison, or my training might have lead me to disintegrate him, too. I did fire a stray shot that destroyed my mailbox. It too the two of them to restrain me and calm me down.

After I agreed not to de-atomize, particle-shift, or otherwise harm her boyfriend, my sister had a good laugh about it. She thought it was sweet that I was finally acting like a brother and defending her honor. At least, she was pleased until I grounded her.

I do not know how long this will last, but I am thinking forever. Not only am I concerned about this boy Nick having his way with my sister, but we have revealed ourselves to Douglas. He has seen our advanced technology. I do not know what he understands of the situation, but we have to proceed as if the cat is out of the bag. I like Douglas. He is a smart boy, but it is dangerous for him to know who we are. It is more dangerous that others could have potentially known.

Emotions appear to be affecting me more lately. I must be careful not to further compromise ourselves.

Sex

As it turns out, human heterosexual intercourse is quite fun.

I do not seem to be too bad at it either. At least, April assuaged my fears that I would be unable to satisfy her due to my lack of experience. The physical stamina required is more intense than I had originally thought. My limited research into mating customs on both the internet and the Discovery Channel were mere precursors to the base knowledge of the act. As it happens, much is dependent on instincts and chemistry, and apparently we have chemistry.

As the ritual suggests, we did have a lovely dinner along with entertaining and intellectually stimulating conversation. When the moment arrived, I attempted to explain my inexperience, but April was quite understanding. She seems almost surprised, but I believe I did well, and we enjoyed ourselves. I could go on in more detail about the night, but I suspect it would be bad protocol to speak so openly of an intimate moment such this. I am sure April does not know about this blog, and I have not considered explaining my true origins to her, though I feel I must do so at some point in the near future. I may not have as good a grasp on human emotions as my sister does, but I believe I am falling in love with April.

Human Mating Rituals

To my dismay, I was reminded what I had missed from my research into human dating, specifically how to proceed with my relationship with April. Sex.

I researched and understand the concept of human procreation, of course, and I was aware that intercourse is a key element to mating rituals. However, somehow I failed to make that connection to my own situation. Also, I have no idea what I am doing. I never thought I would be in my own human mating ritual. I like April, and I am certain she likes me, but I am not equipped to know what she expects or wants. The kissing, I understand, but what else do I do? How am I supposed to proceed? I am seeing her again tonight, so I must find a proper solution quickly.

I may be in trouble.

The Dating Experiment, continued

I was right to say I would not be able to post for a while. Fortunately, I did not die like I hoped I would. My date night with April went much better to plan than I expected. So much so, that I am a bit confused as to how I should be feeling, but I do feel good. I feel better than good in fact. I have experienced a measurable increase in my levels of pheromones and vasopressin, a chemical reaction leading to an emotional attachment commonly known among humans, from my understanding, as love.

I hesitate to use the word "love" since I am new to the concept, and humans have a tendency too often to use hyperbole. Madison is also teasing me quite incessantly about it. I had a very enjoyable date with April, and I have grown quite fond of her.

Perhaps it is the magic of Saint Valentine that everyone has been talking about, but I was caught up in the evening I had planned for April. I took her to a lovely place called Micheli's, which serves Italian cuisine and features performers who sing songs in the style of an opera. The atmosphere was quite lovely, I must admit, and the meal was excellent. We also drank quite a bit of wine. What is the connection with alcohol consumption and revealing human emotions? I must get to the bottom of that.

Before we had even received dessert, April kissed me again. This kiss was different than the one we shared before. There was something softer, more tender about it. I hesitate to go into much detail, for I think it is somewhat rude to describe such personal moments, but I am a scientist after all and this is why I am here.

No, that is an unfair statement. My initial attraction to April was one of curiosity as I wished to learn more about the interactions between the males and females of the human race. Now, I feel a more personal attraction.

In fact, the night was so lovely, neither of us wanted it to end, and she invited me back to her place for a short period of time. We stayed up late into the night talking about all manner of subjects. I learned about her life history growing up in Valencia, how she had always strived to become a teacher, even her taste in literature. Apparently, she is very fond of a series of books set in a dystopian future in which children are forced once a year to compete in a ritual by which they all have to kill each other. This must be a fascinating work, but I find it somewhat ironic considering her love of children.

Saturday night ended when we were both tired enough and I thought it appropriate to leave her to rest for the night. I got the impression there was some missing part of my plan for the evening that was not thought out because something was bothering me, and April certainly seemed disappointed when I left. The nagging feeling was so great that I called her the very next day, which my research tells me is not at all what I should have done, but I was glad I did it. April was overjoyed to hear from me, and we ended up spending much of the day together. We saw a movie, which chronicled the rise to fame of a young pop singer, and found a quaint little coffee shop where we talked for hours.

We spent much time together over the weekend and on the day of Saint Valentine, which I found to be an odd occasion for romance, but April seemed to like it. We have even seen more of each other during this past week, though we do work at the same school. I have spent so much time with April, I have realized I did not pay much attention to my sister this week. I thought she might be worried about me, but she seems to enjoy this more than I am. That makes me somewhat suspicious, but Madison ensures me that she is happy for me. She did say that she hoped I was not "rushing into" anything with April. I am not sure what she could mean by that, but surely there is nothing wrong with two people enjoying each others company as much as we do. We spent much of this past weekend together as well, and I could not be happier. I do need to make sure it does not affect my work, though.

I am worried about one thing. I still have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I am forgetting a critical part of my research in human interaction. April seems to be just as happy as I am as I attempt to follow the protocol for a growing relationship, but I hope I have not left something out.

Revolution

For the most part, I am amused by most of the day to day dealings of mankind. Perhaps it is also the region of this planet I have chosen to inhabit, but most humans regularly concern themselves with trivial matters of greed or vanity. I am not oblivious to the greater political concerns of this world, and I recognize conflict, real conflict, on a daily basis. Then, something comes along that is so altering to the political climate and people of a region as a revolution.


I have come to learn much about Egypt in the past few weeks as I have studied both its current as well as ancient history. Much can be said of a civilization that has been around as long at the recorded history of Earth can remember, and I will keep much of this for my files should I ever get a chance to report about it back home. When an uprising occurs in a nation, by whatever free peoples or military or political force, more often than not, it is a destructive, anarchic mess.

I will admit, in my learnings of human history and behavior, I had thought and feared that the unrest of the last 18 days in Egypt would lead to a bloody coup or bloody failed coup and would only cause more destruction in a region that has a precarious balance between peace and war. There was violence, of course, and that should be noted and not forgotten. Still, I am pleased and proud of my adopted world that in the face of an oppressive government, the people of a nation can gain the power to take down this government through protest and ideas.

I have studied the fall of governments many times first hand. It is what I do. I can only be wary of my own people, who had thought this planet far to violent to deal with in a peaceful way. Perhaps this news will get out into the universe and prove the worth of humankind. My only hope for the people of Egypt and for the world is that this transition of power to the new government there be a peaceful one.


POSTSCRIPT: On a more personal subject, if I am lucky, this will be my last post because I will have died before tonight. I took my sister's advice and asked April to dinner again before the dreaded holiday known as Saint Valentine's Day arrives. I am taking her out tonight unless death or some more world-altering news spares me from doing so.

I May Be In Trouble

My sister put it rather colloquially: "You're screwed."


Madison first brought up this sentiment on Sunday, and I did not understand it at the time. I was attempting to decipher the cultural meaning to the Super Bowl. As usual, our good neighbors Charles and Alice (primarily Charles in this case) invited us to their annual Super Bowl party. Not having much of a grasp on the subculture of football, I wondered if this would involve needed to cook a very large bowl of soup. Quite the opposite, the food at this party was most disappointing, constituting mainly of chips and dip, and they insisted I not cook anything. I wish I had.

I have one short observation about this game which I must learn more about. In deconstructing the rules of football, I came to understand the visceral need for a sport. For a society advanced enough to conduct its wars primarily through machinery, and a combination of automation, strategically distanced command centers, and elite ground troops, yet not advanced enough to do away with war completely, there is a certain satisfaction with seeing a field of play be overtaken and reclaimed or conquered, keeping with the ancient methods of honorable combat.

I may discuss more on the game later, but my primary concern now is Madison's assertion that I am "screwed." As I explained, I was distracted by the game when she first pointed this out, and she has become much more insistent as the week has progressed. She refers to my situation with April, who is not only her teacher but my current coworker at the high school. After our unintended romantic interlude, I have not had much time to consider how to proceed, but Madison insists no matter what I do, I am doomed to misstep. The reason being that in a few short days is Valentine's Day.

This holiday, which I had assumed was manufactured to better market chocolates and jewelry, is apparently taken quite seriously by romantic-minded individuals, which would be most humans. I did not consider that April would be one of these romantics, nor did I consider that I might have to act carefully around such a precarious holiday, lest hearts be broken, which if I have learned anything of my study of the ancient gods of this world, is the quickest way to a long war that no matter of football could cure.

I did intend to ask April out on another date, since our first date was such a disaster, and now that we have kissed, it may play out differently, but Madison thought at date on the week leading up to Valentine's Day would be too romantic far too early in the relationship.

Then, I considered not doing anything, waiting it out until such an appropriate time that the shadow of this dreaded holiday passes. Madison said doing nothing would be an even worse idea. I would be downright insulting.

As the saying goes, I am damned if I do and damned if I do not. I must admit, the kiss April and I shared caught me off guard. I do not know how I feel toward her, but I do like and respect her, and I did like that kiss. I do not know what to do. Even my sister admits she is stumped, but I must come up with a strategy quickly. The longer I wait before taking action, the closer I am to the date of the holiday, the 14th of February, and the more importance will be placed on this action.

If there was ever a time for the fleet of the homeworld to arrive and rescue me, now would be it. The red battle fleets of Mars would even be welcome. Intergalactic war is easier than human romance.