Faster Than Light

From what I understand, human scientists have succeeded in breaking the speed of light. It has been all over the news. If their discovery is indeed true, even I must admit it is quite the accomplishment for human beings. Of course, it was just neutrinos that supposedly travelled faster than light, not an actual human, but my people have know methods for faster than light travel for centuries, so an accomplishment for humans nonetheless.

On a similar subject, considering humanity's obsession with speed, I have learned of a human phenomenon frustratingly not at the speed of light: human bureaucracy.

As you know, I have been a somewhat reluctant ambassador to the local government given the relatively small influx of refugees from my home world. My only interest, in all honesty, is to continue on my life as an average human. I also have my new goal of becoming a cook and eventually having my own restaurant. I do not ask for much, but I had hoped with all the help I have provided to the government that they would provide some assistance.

That is the other word I learned this week: naiveté.

After some derisive laughter at my request, my contact in the government did propose "a deal" as he called it. He said that he would "consider the request" if I provided him some information on faster than light travel. I suppose there is competition with the Swiss after all. Even though I consider myself a citizen of this world, they still have a long way to come with that research.

I can sense that even if I withdraw my request, they will continue to pressure me for more technological secrets from my world. I suppose I could lie and give them information that will soon be outdated, but I can sense this may be a source of trouble down the line.

The Joy of Food

As I have come to my first year of writing this blog, which I am reminded I must credit to my sister, I feel the need to reflect on the thing which fascinates me the most about humans. Food.

In my earliest blog entries, I expounded on my love of human cuisine, particularly the barbecue. This past weekend was another time of barbecues in addition to other wonderful food experiences. Knowing my love of food, April treated me to what is known as an "urban food crawl" this past weekend. We live not that far from Los Angeles, so we took the public transit system to downtown, where we joined a walking tour of the area and the most delightful restaurants and eateries.

The process took most of the day, including an hour stop for beer and wine tasting, which was more than adequate to get me inebriated. It reminded me again what wonderful flavors exist in this world. I have decided, the time has finally come for me to accept that my sister and I are indeed stuck here as the local government has told me and to stop my insistence that this blog is for research purposes only. It is time to fully explore this notion of food and cooking on a more regular basis.

I am going to thoroughly study as many of these culinary intricacies as is possible, and should it be possible to acquire the capital, I would like to open up my own restaurant. I have become a decent cook on my own. All I require is a bit more study for sure. How hard could it be?

I also must admit as I start up my current job again at April's school that as knowledgeable I am on every science known to human, I am not good when it comes to interacting with human teenagers. My own sister can attest this and is in fact quite mortified at the prospect of having to take a class I am teaching.

In the meantime, until this new venture of creating a restaurant to cook for, I will continue to learn every delicacy known to man and taste every menu I can find in the local area.

Now that I think about it, refining my palate may require me to do some traveling.

April

I have said it many times, human females are baffling. April is a girl I have gotten emotionally involved with in a way I never thought possible. She intrigues me, sometimes frustrates me, and always excites me. Of course, April, like all women, is completely unpredictable. This unpredictability is also exciting and frustrating.

Ever since I've been back, April has wanted to spend more time together. I believe the phrase she used was "pick back up where we left off." I was very happy to oblige and return to my normal human routine. This presented a problem, however, because I found that my new duties as alien ambassador to the local government kept interfering with that normalcy, and we both had different ideas of what "pick back up where we left off" meant. For me, it seemed, it was that I was taking April for granted.

I would never insult April in such a way as to truly take her for granted, but as I have explained, I am not good with human emotions, so I can only surmise how it would appear that way. So, my sister, always one to interfere in my business, insisted that I plan a long romantic weekend with April to "recapture the romance" as she said.

I suspect my sister had an ulterior motive in getting me out of the house for the weekend, but in the end, it did not matter. Last weekend was amazing.

With Madison's help, I planned it all out. Romantic dinner, breakfast in bed, day at the beach, a night at the Magic Castle (another topic I will have to cover later, the human concept of magic is interesting), Sunday brunch, and of course shopping. Apparently, I am also still good at the sex. There was quite a bit of that. Well, there was more than normal. Not excessively more. Still, we were good at it.

April, who also reads this blog and sometimes proofreads my words, has just expressed to me that though it is "cute" that I still stumble over explaining sex, I do not need to talk about it so much. There are other places on the internet to go for that sort of thing. So, that is all I am allowed to talk about our sex life. It is good, though. Yes, April confirmed that.

My sister is also asking me to refrain from talking about my sex life. I have since informed her that, in a way, it was all her idea. She did not seem pleased with that retort.

So, Our romantic weekend was a success. I seem to have patched things up with April, and I have every intention of keeping that romance alive. I could not be happier about it. This is the one thing about being human that simultaneously intrigues and baffles me the most. I understand cooking. I can grasp the formulas of ingredients and the pleasure of tasting a good dish. Romance still baffles me. I can say that I do love April. As much as an alien such as myself can understand love, I do.

Of course, now I have friends and colleagues constantly telling me to "lock that down," whatever that means.